Dreamland

Belly Fat... dreaming of eating food she's not supposed to eat.

I've been having some really weird dreams lately. Like, really weird. Way more weird than normal. I wake up confused on a daily basis now.

The first in this string was a dream about Jestina getting in trouble with the mob. She owed them $25,000. We had no idea how we were going to come up with that money (when one LT (life twin) gets in trouble, both LTs are in trouble, it's how it works). But that's when the Shandashian and Jesdashian minds combined to come up with the greatest idea ever. We would hold a star studded gala to raise money to pay off her debt! We invited all the who's who of Hollywood. Gisele Bündchen and I became fast friends over our mutual hate of Lindsay Lohan. Apparently, Lindsay was the one who outed her on her latest pregnancy. I couldn't tell that she was pregnant, she was so skinny. Jestina and I were successful in our endeavor, and we were able to pay off the mob before we were supposed to get hit by a train. I have no idea what that was all about. Probably the fact that I miss Jestina because she's off galavanting around Asia. 

Next up. Andy and I were at a hotel. We had to solve a mystery. This apparently involved kicking down doors and walls. And something to do with the number seventy. And I jumped over a railing and down 7 flights of stairs without hurting myself. It was like some sort of weird action spy movie. Then we figured it out. The culprit was the grandma working at the front desk. I still don't know what she did.

Then, I had a dream that Andy and I were sitting in our kitchen with his family. Which is weird right off the bat because you can't sit in our kitchen. It's too small. Then I looked in the backyard (also weird, our kitchen faces the neighbors, not the backyard) and saw a guinea fowl. If you don't know what one of those are, click here, it's like a chicken. I had no pants on. Why? I don't know. I went in the backyard to chase it away but it wouldn't move. Me, being terrified of birds like I am, went inside and told Andy to take care of it. He was too busy chatting. I went back outside and saw that the bird was gathering things to make a nest behind a piece of wood that was leaning up against the rental house (which was full of junk, which it is not in real life). No way nuh huh uh. Not making a nest in MY yard! I went back inside and demanded that he take care of it and to tell the renters to clean up their #$%^ while he was out there. He went outside. I woke up. I don't know if the bird stayed or went, if the yard got cleaned up, or if I ever put pants on.

I have come to the conclusion that I am a very weird person.

The end.